


The voices she hears

by Detecgenerate



Category: ALTER EGO (Visual Novel)
Genre: Canon Universe, Colored Text, Existential Crisis, F/M, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, One Shot, POV First Person, Psychoanalysis, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22409551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Detecgenerate/pseuds/Detecgenerate
Summary: Damn you...just shut up!Conform, conform, conform!Is that all you can say?!Suddenly, the door knob turns.
Relationships: Es/Wanderer (Implied)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	The voices she hears

**Author's Note:**

> WHY ARE THERE NO FICS OF THIS GAME?!
> 
> Well, depending on the reception, I guess we'll find out.
> 
> ALTER EGO is a phone game that's actually quite popular, so I was surprised when I saw no fics here on AO3. Hopefully the release of this fic changes things a slight bit or brings more people into the ALTER EGO fandom.
> 
> Decided to use the slight breaks from writing my longfic to write this. 
> 
> Critique and feedback are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Lastly, try to keep the work skin on! It makes the story a slight bit more readable in my opinion.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this short oneshot!

[Is that all you can say?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=981q4qkLo_Q>Conform,%20conform,%20conform!</span></a>%0A</p>%0A%0A<p>%0A%20%20<span%20class=)

Conform, conform, conform! 

You were a mistake.

You’re a failure.

Damn it...I’m not unwanted. I’m...needed...

…

I looked at the small stack of papers on my table.

Maybe...another day.

I put them away, along with my pen.

I give a quiet sigh.

Didn't finish this time either…

While I grabbed a book from the bookshelves, flipping it open, I hear the door knob to my monochrome world turn.

A shady man in a cloak and a wizard hat walks into the library-esque room.

“Took you long enough.” I say, as I stop turning the pages of the book, and look up with my bored eyes.

The man immediately walks up to me, and…

Pokes me.

“...” I look back at the book, annoyed.

He grins a bit, before sitting down on a chair.

“I have 12 questions for you.”

The man raises his eyebrows.

“Just answer truthfully. Don’t trouble yourself too much about it.”

The man nods silently.

As the man answers the worthless questions, like ‘do you get jealous easily’ or ‘are you lied to often’, I flip through the pages of a book, analyzing his answers.

His eyes are closed, as he answers the questions.

He’s emotional. A hard worker. But he’s also someone who can’t say no. Lives noncommittally. Indecisive.

Projection? Wait, no…

“Denial.” I comment.

To my left, a shard of glass reappears in a shattered mirror.

He reopens his eyes.

“You tend to avoid the issues in your life. Closing your eyes whenever one turns up,” 

“You need to face your problems. Try not to turn away from them so often.” I advise.

“Did that clear things up for you a bit?”

He gives a slight nod.

“Though, you still don't know much about this place…” I look around the room, filled with books.

He automatically starts looking around the room as well.

“Or even yourself.”

“No matter. We’ve only just begun.”

I look around the bookshelves, until I find the book I’m looking for.

“No Longer Human.” I state.

He looks at the bookshelf curiously.

“Osamu Dazai.”

I place the novel on the table.

“If you’re collecting EGO, you might want to read some novels or books.”

He stares at it for a slight moment, before quickly grabbing and flipping through the pages.

“Come back when you have more EGO.”

He nods, and pulls open the door behind him.

I sigh. 

All alone, once again.

What do I ask him next time, I wonder.

Maybe what he thinks this place is?

Or maybe what he thinks about that annoying little…

Control your impulses.

Tch, you’re back.

You must conform to the standard!

...What happens…*if* I do conform?

The idea itself already pisses me off...damn it. I’m not unwanted.

Or maybe we should wring his sweet neck?

What?

Release your impulses! First, get rid of that fucking Façade, then destroy *everything*!

Don’t you want to *love* what you want? *Hate* what you want?!

I...do, but…

I’m not worried. You’ll change your mind soon!~ This wanderer will teach you all you need.

…

The door knob turns once more.

“Ah, you’ve been collecting EGO, like you were told to.”

The wizard walks in, placing the novel onto the table.

I point towards a corner of the room, with a shattered mirror, a birdcage, a few envelopes, crushed pieces of papers and a bookshelf.

“You might want to keep it with your records.”

He nods, grabbing the novel and placing it into the bookshelf, slightly tilted on the side.

“You’re quite earnest, are you not?”

He shakes his head, poking me once more.

“...Are you satisfied yet?”

He, of course, smiles again, before sitting down.

“I have yet another question to ask you.”

He tilts his head a slight bit, curiously.

“You would like to know a bit more about this place, yes?” I ask.

He nods vehemently.

“Well, I suppose that should suffice as a reward for your earnesty.”

“How...do I put this, now that I think about it?” I say, slightly puzzled.

“This is a place that is...isolated from the outside world. It doesn’t need or have a name.” I explain.

“That’s all it is, at least to me.”

“But, I have one question for you.” I added.

“How do *you* perceive this place?” I questioned.

The man stays silent for a few seconds.

“...A place to question who I’ve always been.” For the first time, the man talks.

“Philosophical.” I nod approvingly.

“Though the identity of this place isn’t very important.”

“What *is* important, is that you are here, now.” I look back to my book.

“Something lies in the future, whether you like it or not.”

“That is why we seek our reasons, is it not?” I close my eyes.

“You. And I.”

“Come back when you have more EGO saved up.” I wave him off.

He looks through the bookshelves, and picks up three books.

He pulls on the knob again, and leaves the room.

I sigh to myself, and continue reading the book I’ve been holding.

What should I talk to him about next time?

I find myself sitting down in a different spot of the room this time, with the bookshelves to my left, instead of right behind me.

I put the book away, and find myself lightly closing my eyes.

“HAHAHAHAAHA!”

...That...isn’t quite right, is it?

The room. It’s...empty. Distraught. I would never leave this room like this.

What’s happening?

I pull on the knob, leading to the endless hallway.

“WhaT a loAD of buLlSHIT!”

I suddenly jolt awake.

...What was that?

A nightmare.

A dream.

The door knob turns again.

I quickly sit up in my seat, placing my right hand under my chin.

Looking at the bookshelves, I motion for the man to sit down.

“You know...there are a ton of books here.” I stare at the shelves intently.

The man tilts his head, slightly confused at the choice of subject.

“There’s even one that ends differently - every single time you read it.” I point towards one of the shelves.

I stand up and pull the book out.

“This book is about a king, a prince, and a maid…”

The visit ends, with another shard of glass replacing itself in the mirror.

‘Selfish Autonomy’

“Come back with more EGO, alright?”

The man leaves the room once again, this time with two other books.

…

I search through the bookshelves, looking for something new to read.

I finally see one that catches my eye.

‘ALTER EGO’

My hand hovers over the book, but I decide against opening it right now.

There is no choice.

That’s strange. You two are actually agreeing for once…

Something’s off about that book…

Fall not to impulse. Wait for the right time.

Could you keep quiet for just a moment?

“Damn Façade. Getting full of yourselves…”

I look back to the door to see the wizard, taking his hat off and placing it onto the ground.

“When did you wander in?” I ask.

He simply shrugs.

“I’m sure you’ve seen them, right?” I question.

“The self-proclaimed monarch.” My eyes narrow.

“That monarch, they exist just to plague *me*.” I look off.

You *must* conform. You cannot let your impulses control.

“Over and over, I just hear their whispers. Conform! Conform! Conform! Submit to the rules!”

Release your impulses, instead!

"And then there's this guy, asking me to destroy *everything* every 2 damned seconds!" 

The wizard seems slightly surprised by my outburst.

“I’m...fine.”

“Hmm...what’s *your* take on it? Do you conform to the rules, or follow your impulses?”

“...I don’t have a take.” He shrugs.

“What do you mean?”

“I...suppose it depends. On the time and place.”

“...A vague answer, but it’s still better than that Façade’s, still.”

“That damn Façade. Controlling me like judge and jury...”

You are a failure. A mistake. Nothing you say will change that.

“You hear that, don’t you?”

“Hush! You damn…I…”

The wizard furrows his brow.

“...Forgive me. I can’t really focus on the conversation right now…”

“Please, come back again later. I’ll see you when you have EGO saved up…”

The man leaves the room, but not before expressing his worry in his eyes.

“I’ll be fine...just come back later.”

I pull out another book from the shelf, trying to find another book to distract myself.

However, I soon feel my eyes drooping, as I slowly close my eyes, surrendering to sleep.

I wake up in the room once again.

I find my eyes are wet with tears.

“I’m just a failure...a mistake. Like what they said…”

...I’m just here....

“To pull the wool over your eyes, my dear protagonist…”

I should just disappear.

“I was just a simple harlequin created by him to mislead *you*. And you were not tricked. You were righteous. You have *won*.”

I wake in the room again.

…

A dream.

A nightmare.

That’s twice…

I decide to wait until the man comes back, reading through the books on the shelves. 

Suddenly, after a few days, the knob turns. 

He comes in, sitting down on the chair again.

He stares at me for a few moments. 

"What is it? You look worried." I close the book. 

“Why do you like reading books so much?” He asks.

... 

“...Books, for me, are what breath is to others.” I answer vaguely.

“What does that mean?”

“I cannot...stay myself, without books.” 

He looks at me curiously. “Why?”

“They’re...they give me sanity.” I say off-handedly. 

You know you want to!

But yet, you know you shouldn’t.

“Even now, I feel the urge.”

“The urge?”

Just do it! It’s not that difficult!

“I’m fighting my iMpuLSes...to just...put my hands around your throat, and…”

I clear my throat.

“No worries. I...I have them under control. May I ask you something?” I request.

He nods, sweating a little.

“Should I restrain my impulses?”

“...Get a hold of yourself.”

"...Get a hold of myself..." I repeat. 

“I wonder, is that even possible?”

“I’m...at least fine, now.” I shrug the previous conversation off.

“They...they were too loud. I just got confused.”

“Speaking to you seems to...calm me. I’m still alright.”

“Trust me, I won’t do anything impulsive. I’ll be fine.”

He nods quietly.

"...You're the only other thing keeping me sane in this room, you know?"

“So please, make sure you come back soon, alright?”

“I will.” He says, grinning, before poking me again.

“...You just have nerves of steel, don’t you?” I look back at my book, annoyed.

**Author's Note:**

> I was planning on releasing this *after* someone else released a fic for this game, but seeing as how about a month passed with no fic in sight, I decided to do it myself.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, and hopefully someone else steps up to write another fic based on this amazing game!


End file.
